There are two reasons for writing this blog:
- To share my thoughts on how I began to understand the meaning of relationship in all its complexity and learned to manage it well.
- To share my insights that may resonate with you.
The conception of a relationship
We begin a link in our mother’s womb, and it gets wider on a social scale over the years.
It would be difficult to live in complete isolation without any relationships. Few choose to live completely alone with no connection to any other humans.
My focus is on how our existing relationships affect us. Research shows relationship problems may also be sabotaging other areas of your life, for example, your career, physical and mental health, fitness, hobbies, and social life. Quality relationships help us to be happier, healthier and live longer whereas living amid high-conflict relationships is very bad for our health.
So, taking care of our relationships is essential for our health and happiness.
When someone is not in your heart, they are on your nerves.
A relationship scenario
I had a beautiful relationship with all my family members. As a family, we were loving, healthy, and well bonded. However, through a lack of self-awareness, external issues slowly and insidiously crept in disguised as family problems.
You have heard clichés such as ‘That’s life‘, ‘We all have our ups and downs’. These remarks often masked those issues which were then were brushed off under the carpet or tolerated and sometimes confronted which often resulted in stress and frustrations. However, we always made reconciliations and life continued.
Slowly though, unknown to us, invisible cracks were forming, but not enough to rock the boat to the extent that it would topple us. Drifting on this boat into the ocean of relationship heading into a blurred shoreline, purpose, or fulfilment and eventually, the boat did cave in. Rather, in real words – it crashed and wrecked! The impact of damage was felt across on all members in that boat. I felt a failure.
A lesson learned
Looking back, it took me on a journey of understanding the meaning of the word relationship. This relationship has the potential for smooth sailing, managing the infrequent high waves and storms or to be wrecked.
Here the crew did not work together as well as they could have.
The captain carries an incredible responsibility.
As the captain, it was a life-changing lesson learned. You may resonate with me here…
Diversity in a relationship
One. The closest person to you
Two. Children and family members
Three. Friends, colleagues, and society
To sustain a healthy relationship, it requires some of these critical ingredients
- Examine your motives when entering into relationships.
- Clarify your expectations.
- Are you able to meet those expectations or do you need to compromise?
- Be transparent and honest in your communication.
- Build trust by being truthful.
- Do not ignore or sweep issues under the carpet.
- Be gentle and kind whilst equally challenge and ask questions with sensitivity when necessary.
- Do not take the relationship for granted, instead encourage, care and support.
- Spend quality time and prioritise what is essential.
- Seek competent counsel when things get difficult.
- Give time and space for the relationship to flourish.
- Endeavour to enjoy each day in your relationships.
If you are thinking of starting a new relationship or beginning to experience challenges with a current one and would like to repair it before it’s too late, then why not have a chat and see how if I can help you?