“The key to living a successful is life is being able to analyze and understand your mindset. And then bridging any gaps with the right resources and influences”.
Let me try and explain…
Success has a few different definitions.
I’ve chosen a definition which I have found people are familiar with, A state of prosperity or fame.
This has been demonstrated and accepted over centuries, for example, a celebrity status, social recognition, wealth, power and I guess the list goes on. In my experience, many are running, striving and trying hard to achieve that recognition and status. They like to be defined by what others think of them. It’s human nature to be adored, admired, praised and receive validation. Those in itself are good, but when the admiration and validation ceases, things begin to change.
If I measured success based on status, fame and wealth, then I would view myself as unsuccessful.
Several years ago, I viewed myself as unsuccessful and felt I was living an unsuccessful life. I needed a mind shift! And these words reminded me
‘For what will you profit, if you gain the whole world and lose your own soul?’
Words of Jesus from Mark 8:36
However, now, I can say I am living a successful life, without the abundance of status, fame and wealth.
Here is the key to my successful life: realising who I am and understanding my mindset. Over the years I have bridged the missing gaps to arrive at a point where I can truly say I am living a successful life.
Here’s my analogy…
Consider you are building your dream house from scratch.
You have the perfect location and the architectural plan. You also have a picture of your finished house. You visualize it and feel good about it. However, you need to factor in the building materials for quality and costs. You contract the builders and you can afford to finally decorate and furnish in the style of your choice. You move into your new house and have a big housewarming party, everyone congratulates you and comments on how beautiful everything looks. You feel a sense of achievement and fulfilment.
The alternative is to buy a house that you didn’t design yourself. You bought it with basic furnishing and its ready to live in. After a few years, you feel bored staying there and you want to change things, but you can’t afford it. The house becomes just a place to live in.
You are left with two choices:
- Build a dream house
- Develop and invest in the house you are living in, in the way you want it to be
Your mindset acts in a similar way. The successful living is available to both residents. Building a dream house from scratch or developing the one you are living in now.
I fell into the second category. I lived in a mindset that was already designed for me through my nurturing period, right through adulthood and well into my years of being a responsible husband, father and a friend. I got used to living it that way until my focus shifted onto something which I thought was better and beautiful… ‘A dream house’.
I soon realised I did not have the materialistic resources to support my new focus. But the urge was strong enough to drive me forward, without the resources and the mindset, to manage the challenges and risks that lay ahead of me. My focus got blurred, I got distracted, I lost concentration. It was only a matter of time until I had a crash. Just like a big tree crashing down into my house leaving the house badly damaged and with the insurers assessing the damage.
Verdict = heavy repairs and it will take time to repair, but not written off.
Restoration of my life
Phew! I can only look back and say THANK YOU. The repairs and restoration took time but the final result was house restored, strengthened and underpinned to withstand the challenges of the natural elements.
Restoration of my life was the time of renewing and developing a new mindset.
So, what was all this restoration about?
It was similar to living in the house that someone else had designed and modelled. But the interior décor, furnishings, new electrical wiring, central heating, new windows and underpinning foundations. These new fittings and fixtures are made of high quality which can withstand the daily use. However, it needs to be regularly maintained, to sustain longevity.
Bridge the gaps
So, let me take you back to my quote at the top ‘bridging any gaps with the right resources and influences’.
What I mean by that is that you do not have to change your personality. You are who you are! But what truly needs to change, is how you think and how you reflect about things in your own life.
Rebuilding a new mindset is a process and requires examining underpinning weak foundations.
Perhaps you feel, you need more money, clothes, shoes, a bigger house, holidays, hobbies, a new relationship, a new job, a new car, a better social circle and many other things that could make you feel successful. I do not disagree with acquiring those things. Of course, to have all those things you surely will need more money, work longer hours, perhaps do two or three different jobs. Many actually do that, and I have met many of those people and they are really nice, but something is missing and they can’t really place their finger on it. There’s a vacuum that they are trying to fill. Often, they feel stressful, worried, under pressure, or even depressed. Sometimes they just up bottle things and pretend everything is fine. Some just give up.
I believe a successful life is developed on the process of renewing your mind and being transformed from the inside out.
“Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2
How do you start building a successful mindset?
- It requires a quality decision from you and someone to come alongside who can understand what you are trying to achieve.
- Start with a heart of gratitude and by surrounding yourself with people who think like soaring eagles and not noisy turkeys.
- Beware of subliminal influences that disguise themselves in many ways to infiltrate and corrupt your mind.
- Connect with people who have a good interest in their heart for you.
- Eat healthy food, learn to cook fresh meals.
- There are many self-help books, videos, podcasts, seminars. I feel they are good and have good intentions in helping people. But there are millions and finding the one that suits your need can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. It can be confusing.
- Don’t give up because of that. You will truly find what you seek. If anyone offers quick fixes for a large sum of money – beware!
Restoration and renewing of a mindset cannot be quickly fixed. It’s a process and you need to be able to trust.
Find an expert! I strongly believe an experienced life/business coach or mentor who has been through the process themselves, and lives successfully can help you, in a planned and steady pace. You will actually see the development process and signs of transformation as you continue on that journey.
There are hundreds, if not thousands of coaches in Birmingham and there’s me.
But why my coaching is different?
- To begin with, I am accessible and have experienced the things I write and talk about.
- My coaching style is unique, inspirational and makes my clients feel at ease straight away.
- I am not bound by time or rushed around.
- I never say I am busy or I don’t have time.
- I respect and value my time and of others.
- I understand and accept people for who they are and help them through their journey to where they want to go.
Coaching works beautifully for progressive thinkers.
It is important to find the coach that you feel is the right fit for you and with whom you feel there’s a connection.
I strongly believe working with a coach or mentor is one of the avenues successful people have used and continue to use.
There are accountability issues and a timeline to work to. Many top sports athletes have coaches, mentors, dieticians, nutritionists and everything else they need to perform well and to help win those medals.
That’s what I am talking about.
You need the right resources and influences to bridge any gaps in developing a successful mindset = living a successful life.
As you’ve read this article up to this point, then why not try my free Discovery Session which in itself has helped many people already who have benefited from coaching with me.